Just for giggles

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Steve Frost
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Just for giggles

Never trust a sailor.

A distraught woman was just about to climb out over the rail on the Empire State building and leap to her death. A sailor happened by and grabbed her arm and asked what she was doing.

She stated that there was too much sadness in her life and little reward, she had decided to end it all.

The sailor said that life is rich and has many rewards, he told her his ship was sailing to Italy and offered to stow her aboard and he would show her the beauty of Italy and she would find reason to live.

The woman accepted, the sailor secreted her aboard ship, found an isolated room down in the hold and stashed her there. Each night he would bring her food and wine and they would talk and make love late into the night.

After several days the Capitain was inspecting the ship ane ran accross the woman and asked what she was doing aboard. She explained that one of his sailors had stollen her aboard and was taking her to Italy and that he would bring food and wine each evening and they would make love into the night.

He is screwing you the Capitain stated.

She said no, they where making love.

No said the Capitain, he is screwing you, this is the Staten Island Ferry.

Cepheus dream
C36 MK I # 825
MK I Tech Editor No Mas

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ProfDruhot
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Posts: 354

Too funny!

Glenn Druhot
Carpe Diem
New Bern, NC
35* 6' 10" N / 77* 2' 30" W
2001 C36, Hull #1965
Std Rig; Wing Keel; M35B

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tim_farrell
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Posts: 117

That is hysterical...:o

Tim Farrell
S.V. Kailua
C36 - 1986
Hull# CTY0678A886

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jsc4484
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Posts: 138

[size="7"]outstanding, Im Still Laughing . :d[/size]

FAIR WINDS & FOLLOWING SEAS

Jeff Costa

S/V KAIROS Hull #0235

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deising
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I'm glad my admiral doesn't read this forum; that's how we met.

Duane Ising - Past Commodore (2011-2012)
s/v Diva Di
1999 Catalina 36 Hull #1777
Std rig; wing keel, M35B, Delta (45#)
Punta Gorda, FL
http://www.sailblogs.com/member/diva-di/

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ProfDruhot
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Posts: 354

Duane, that's how you met? You told her you were going on a transatlantic vogage and it was only on a ferry??? Wow! (grin)

Glenn Druhot
Carpe Diem
New Bern, NC
35* 6' 10" N / 77* 2' 30" W
2001 C36, Hull #1965
Std Rig; Wing Keel; M35B

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deising
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Well, actually, I was the one stowed aboard and she was fabricating lies just to have her way with me. It was the story of my life... ;)

Duane Ising - Past Commodore (2011-2012)
s/v Diva Di
1999 Catalina 36 Hull #1777
Std rig; wing keel, M35B, Delta (45#)
Punta Gorda, FL
http://www.sailblogs.com/member/diva-di/

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baysailor2000
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Posts: 218

Mine happened in the back seat of my Chevy ...

Haro Bayandorian, 1999 C36 MKII, Sail La Vie #1787, M35B,
Coyote Point, San Mateo, CA.

Solla Sollew
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Posts: 74

A sailor, stinking like a brewery, stumbled on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest. The sailor's eye was blackened. His shirt was blood stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick, and he had a half empty bottle of gin sticking out of his coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and started reading. A couple of minutes later, he asked the priest, "Father, what causes arthritis"?

"Young man, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and having contempt for your fellow man."

"Well, I'll be damned," the sailor muttered. He returned to reading his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he said, turned to the seaman and apologized. "I'm sorry son, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

"Oh I don't have arthritis Father, I was just reading here in the paper that the Pope has does."

~~~~~_/)~~~~~

A proctologist had his own practice for nearly thirty years and, after probing one too many, decided to retire and become a marine diesel mechanic. He went to mechanic school and did really well all year long. When the final exam came up the teacher told everyone 50% of their grade would be a written test and the other 50% would be tearing down and rebuilding an engine. He though he did really well but when he got his test score, he found he scored 150%! He went to the teacher and asked how he scored that high. The teacher told him that he aced both the written as well as the tear down/rebuild but added an extra 50% because he had never seen anybody tear down and rebuild an engine all through the tail pipe!

~~~~~_/)~~~~~

A C36IA member was sailing into an unfamiliar port one day and ended up getting stuck on a sand bar. He hailed a passing fisherman and asked to be pulled off the bar. “Sure" said the fisherman. "I can pull you off for $200 cash right now”.

With the tide was falling fast and Vessel Assist some 2½ hours away, the unlucky C36IA member figured he’d better pay up - fast.

The cash changed hands and true to his word, the fisherman threw the C36 owner a line and quickly pulled him off the bar safely into deeper water.

As he was tossing the line back to the fisherman, the C36 owner said “For that kind’ a cash, I’d think you wouldn’t need to spend your nights out on the fishing grounds”.

“I don’t”, said the fisherman, “At night, I haul sand to the bar.”

:rolleyes:

Marc & Susan Garcia
"Solla Sollew" #1473, Mk.II
 San Buenaventura, Ca.

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Laura
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Posts: 150

I needed a good laugh!:D

Laura Olsen
Commodore C36/375IA
S/V Miramar
hull 938 (MKI 1989, TR,WK, M25xp)
Edgemere, MD

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deising
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Posts: 1351

Good ones, Marc. Thanks!

Duane Ising - Past Commodore (2011-2012)
s/v Diva Di
1999 Catalina 36 Hull #1777
Std rig; wing keel, M35B, Delta (45#)
Punta Gorda, FL
http://www.sailblogs.com/member/diva-di/

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Steve Frost
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Posts: 788

A pirate walks into a bar, the bartender said, "Hey, I havn't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.

"What do you mean?" said the pirate , " I feel fine,"

"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well says the pirate, I was in a battle, was hit by a cannon ball, but I am fine now."

The bartender replied, " Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"

The pirate explained." We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I was fitted with this hook but I am fine really."

What about that eye patch?

"Oh " said the pirate. " One day we were at sea and a flock of gulls flew over, I looked up and one of the bastards relieved it self in me eye."

" You are kidding" said the bartender. " You couldn't loose an eye from just just bird droppings could you?"

The pirate explained. " Twas the first day with me hook."

Cepheus dream
C36 MK I # 825
MK I Tech Editor No Mas

Solla Sollew
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Posts: 74

A bum, who obviously has seen more than his share of hard times, approached a well-dressed Catalina 36 owner near the marina.

"Hey, buddy, can you spare five dollars?" The C36 owner responds, "You are not going to spend it on liquor are you?" "No, sir, I don't drink," retorts the bum.

"You are not going to throw it away in some card game, are you?" asks the C36 owner. "No way, I don't gamble," answers the bum. "

You wouldn't waste the money on diesel fuel, fancy electronics, or slip fees would you?" asks the man. "Never," says the bum, "I don't even own a boat.”

The C36 owner asks the bum if he would like to come home with him for a home cooked meal. The bum accepts eagerly.

While they are heading for the man's house, the bum's curiosity gets the better of him. "Isn't your wife going to be angry when she sees a guy like me at your table?" "Probably," says the Catalina owner, "but it will be worth it. I want her to see what happens to a guy who doesn't drink, gamble, or go sailing.”
;)

Marc & Susan Garcia
"Solla Sollew" #1473, Mk.II
 San Buenaventura, Ca.

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Steve Frost
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Posts: 788

A mans wife had been missing for more than a week, the police told him to prepare for the worst.

He went back to Goodwill and picked up her clothes.

Cepheus dream
C36 MK I # 825
MK I Tech Editor No Mas

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Capt. Sam
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Posts: 322

Now, that one's a winner:p:p

Capt. Sam Murphy
1994 Catalina 36, Hull 1327
Shoal draft, two cabin model.
Panama City, Florida

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